Why be Natural or Unnatural when you can be SUPERnatural ?
To be a Dark Skinned Black Woman in America, life has definitely had some interesting and frustrating experiences.
I was born in California and mostly raised in Georgia.
My heart is country, but my blood is as fiery, as the Los Angeles in the Summer.
I never fit in, in the south, because the mentalities in both places are so vast. Everything in LA is money/currency based and everything in the south in religious or emotionally based.
For example in LA you will get discriminated against more so for being broke or poor and less so because of your ethnicity or race.
In the South most of the conversations are emotionally based, and most discrimination will happen based on your race and skin color alone or religion!
In California, I get celebrated for simply being a woman, being black is 2nd. Whether I am wearing my hair natural or covered in a head wrap or hidden under a weave! No one cares that I’m a BLACK WOMAN- they simply appreciate beauty. No matter what style I have going on , on the outside, I make sure it looks good and if I don’t look good- I make sure my attitude is and life is grand!
Beauty IS a form of privilege so if I am able to utilize those privileges, why shouldn’t I?
The only people who routinely have a (Unwanted) opinion on my hair are other black women and black men.
“You obviously don’t love yourself sis, because if you did you wouldn’t wear weave!”
“You are so self-hating you want to be white so bad?! Why the weave? Or colored contacts?”
Simply- Because I fucking want to.
I like the way I get treated in comparison to how I get treated without them.
I don’t even wear colored contacts or weave every single day- but its assumed so, and its assumed
It for self-hating reasons.
What is funny to me is, if these same black people are asking Michelle Obama why she wears weaves? Does she hate being black because she wears weave?
Or Ask Super model Naomi Campbell why she wears wigs and colored contacts? Does Naomi Campbell hate being black? Or hate herself?
IF you look at the type of work they both do and movements they stand for you would know they love their skin without question.
I have been the type of person to change my hairstyle everyday at most and a few times a week for over 28 YEARS.
I know from experience, how vastly different people in general treat me simply by me wearing makeup vs. not wearing makeup, or wearing weave and not wearing them, wearing contacts vs wearing glasses etc. and the differences are VAST. You can love yourself all you want, but you aren’t a single entity in this world. There is a few billion other folks you will interact with.
That being said.
Wearing a weave or wig is a instant time saver, especially as a mother with not enough of it.
Me being able to throw a wig on, with the same amount of effort it takes to throw on a hat- saving me time to not have to style my hair everyday, I just wash my hair 1x a week and deep condition and keep it hydrated and left alone. My hair and edges are THRIVING thank you very much. And I look like I walked out of a salon when all I really did was put a wig on.
Standards of Beauty
Black Americans in general , I have noticed, take EVERYTHING , as a racial debate or political stance. EVERYTHING is a self-hate or “Anti-black” if the Collective Group Thinks it is so.
Like “You’re not proud to be black because if you were, would be natural or have dreadlocks”
It’s as if, some of these Black Americans have no idea about BEAUTY from a world wide stance. In Asia where lighter/whiter skin is praised – because the rich stayed indoors an didn’t get tans vs. the farmers who were dark because of access to sunlight. But allegedly, that’s the reason why “Asians/ White/Indisa/Africans/Europeans “hate” black people” (?) WHAT?!
ACROSS all cultures all over the world, there is for one, so many forms of beauty culturally, that it is going to be common that what one culture finds empowering or beautiful, another culture looks at with disgust. That’s just something that happens! It is nothing to be emotionally violent over if it’s not physically attacking you. Which Beauty Preference at its worst, can only fuck up your self esteem or how OTHER PEOPLE treat you based off of their own Beauty bias.
To have a world look- or be a World Beauty, one would simply need to look at beauty all over the world. Across cultures, in general here are some findings.
#1 CLEAR SKIN- people are OBSESSED with skin care and they should be! Our Skin is the largest organ of our bodies, it is our first line of defense against disease. Why wouldn’t you take care of it??
#2 SMILE- people all over the planet Love a nice smile! Smiling is a indicator of JOY whoo doesn’t want to be around that as much as possible?
#3 HEALTHY HAIR- It can be long, medium or even short, but if it is Shiny, and full it s coveted and in many MANY cultures the longer the hair the better!
#4 LONG HAIR- The planet is obsessed with Long hair, even it’s a mess if its long , people will give you a pass. If its Black natural hair or locs or dreadlocks (which most Black people do NOT call their LOCS) if it is long- it is appreciated. Across cultures, shaving your head, or cutting your hair short- was a sign or rebellion and masculinity. That is why if you have short hair or even short appearing hair- some people will assume your are a man, or a lesbian – because “the only women cutting their hair short were women trying to be like men” However, due to all kinds of circumstance like, genes and bone structure or even illness etc, some women/people wear short hair because they have a illness or simply pregnancy and lost their hair- you going to shame someone for wearing weave for that?
Some wear short hair because they just want to and others love it and it looks amazing on them! (have you not seen Halle Berry or Jada Pickett Smith?! Rhianna?! I won’t get into the colorism part -today- because yes all of the are light skinned black women and light skinned women- especially those with abundant African features- though we all may be Black women we all get treated differently in Society based on where we live and the energy we carry)
#5 Colored Eyes- The reason this is a beauty kink is because MOST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD HAVE BROWN EYES> IT is the most common and dominate eye color- thus the rarest eye colors are deemed more beautiful (Like how rubies are worth more than diamonds, because they are way ore rare)
But that DOES NOT Take away from the beauty of brown eyes ! All because the “World Collective” may have a particular beauty standard doesn’t mean each INDIVIDUAL has the same desire!
#6 Curly Hair- Curly hair is a beauty kink because curls are beautiful, and refuse to be controlled! However this is usually exclusive to people with LONG AND CURLY hair. If you have short and curly hair- no one cares, everyone just assumes that you don’t take time out to do your hair and you prefer to be unkept. Which in and of itself isn’t a bad thing- but IT IS A THING and you will get judged for it ,because
PEOPLE JUDGE EACH OTHER BASED ON LOOKS.
There is even a psychology to this.
You get a box of pizza, the first slice you grab is what? The most random slice or the one that looks the most delicious TO YOU? The most beautiful slice perhaps?
We all do this, whether we are getting a meal or shopping for produce, if it looks good we are more likely to buy it, and that is Advertising 101!
The Natural Hair movement in Blackistan is amazing and in early 2007 I went natural before it was trend or movement, the same people who made fun of be for being natural and chopping off all of my hair and growing it back out are all now, natural themselves- go figure!
It is just how the world is! It’s a spiral, everything is always spinning and moving and changing. Beauty standards are GENERAL- for example a woman has the most beautiful long ,thick ,and curly, and healthy hair and skin- but the way God Created her, in the face and body, she looks more like he physically beat her up first.
But depending on her culture and more importantly her own self love and self confidence her “ugliness” is usually ignored because her hair is nothing short of Godly and her personality is phenomenal !
#7 BEAUTY IS A FORM A PRIVLEDGE—Who adorns themselves with beautiful clothes, and jewels?!?
ROYALITY, the rich and wealthy. Who has time to even wear makeup AND apply it, and the money to even purchase it in the first place?!
The economically privileged!
Because we live in America, we can get beauty products at the dollar store! Even a poor wo/man can be beautiful!
So All that being said,
I am a Curvy size 12, Dark Skinned Black woman.
I love my skin and take care of it and thus it is amazing.
I loved being crafted after the Primordial Mother of Life Itself, and being blessed enough to have been born in Ebony Rich and Melanin Rich skin.
I do not have any fears about the Sun or being burned by It’s glorious light.
In my experience, I have been able to heal sickness and wounds from sunlight, so I consider myself lucky to never know a sunburn.
I love my natural curly hair, but Since I have Mermaid Hair (aka Black 4B/C Hair which should be wet 90% of the time) and I don’t live in the Ocean (yet at this time lol)
It need to adjust to my Climate- which is a generally 50 -60 degree lifestyle with chilly Bay breezes.
My am protecting my hair by keeping it wrapped up and hydrated. And wigs and weaves help trap the heat in and adds to my temperature and keeping me warm.
It has nothing to do with self- hate and the people who assume this with me likely never knew The Out Natural Me. Or me with locs too. I did all of those Hair Journey’s and I loved what they taught me
But in regards to Beauty and spiritual practice-
If you consider yourself to be “woke” vs Awakened, I encourage you to start seeing with your 1st eye (aka your 3rd Eye) instead of your other 2. I operate on Frequency and Energy. Things in this World are not always what they appear to be. Whether you like It or not/ accept it or not, The World is the world and it does what it wants, judging you based on your looks.
Many of the most vocal about my LOOK, are black men who get on Facebook all day telling women how to dress, and wear their hair natural in an attempt to date a woman who expects not to live the lifestyle, That I CHOSE to live for myself.
Dusty men with nothing to offer a woman other than , perhaps single motherhood, and a diseased Phallus, are the loudest about women wearing weaves or not.
I wish these men would simply ACCEPT that We are not compatible, and move along.
My style, is just that- A STYLE. Its classy, beautiful and well put together. I take pride in putting effort into my look and I get perks for it too.
I’m not going to stop wearing wigs, lashes or weaves get a pat on the head by a Dusty or a Natural Nazi to congratulate me on” Not standing out too much”
Because in the End,
I am a SHOWSHOPPER. I literally stop traffic, when I go out. I get stares and make jaws drop etc. Without doing anything other than minding my own business.
Even pushing my baby in her stroller, stops none of the play that I come across every single day.
That being said, If you are a black woman, who is AWAKENED, you move different. You walk different. You think different.
And its kinds funny but the world treats you different too.
The World and its Shallow love for beauty,
L O V E S My STYLE of beauty.
Dark Skinned women, We are truly worshipped wherever we go- So THRIVE.
Got explore, put a personal style together, try various hairstyles and looks and until you find THE ONE, That just suits you AND THE LIFE YOU WANT and rock that shit.
The entire point of #BlackGirlMagic and being #Carefree is being UNBOTHERED by OTHERS opinions of you in relation to your self-esteem, self-value and worth,
but when it comes to how the world interacts with you and The world treats you-
you have to evaluate your own energy you are sending out in the world, and combine that, with what the world loves.
And as a Fat, dark skinned, Black woman, who lived in various states across America. “Respectability Politics ” DOES play a role in how I get treated.
This is not the same for everyone, but for me it plays a very significant role and how much simply depends on your own energy, beliefs and those of the society you live in.
In CA its like 90% improvement effect in The South its way less- like 70% improvement of how I am treated based by LOOKS AND ENERGY ALONE.
And I think that’s because as I stated before, Classism, and the wealthy having access to beauty products/makeup/wigs etc.
I used to be that All Natural Caribbean blooded Island gyal and in my heart I still am! But Being “Natural” seems to make BM in particular feel ENTITLED to my attention and they tend to react in violently and emotionally towards my rejections. When I look like a Barbie, they KNOW the time and effort spent in my own appearance, they can’t top that so they don’t bother trying to shot they shot at me, because they know I’m more likely to reject them.
And I am!
I am visually advertising my best self, why would I accept LESS than someone else’s best?
I am “High Maintenance ” on my own so if you can’t make my great life even greater- why are you trying to stop the flow of my own success?
My time is more valuable than money, and I am not kind to anyone, who to tries to interrupt my Flow unless they are adding to it.
But that’s just me.
As long as you TRULY love yourCELLf, it doesn’t matter how you look like, to the people not coming along for the ride called YOUR LIFE.
Different strokes for different folks, and Mine work for me very well.
Instead of being a hater, or bitter or jealous for attention, sync your inner beauty with the outer reflection of that and live your best life.
I am not a citizen of Blackistan and its rules.
I Am LITERALLY Carefree and I do what I fuckin’ want.
I encourage you to do the same.